What if my mate or loved one is a child abuse survivor?
How do you support a friend or loved one that is an adult survivor of child abuse?
Simply being there for them without judgement can be the most powerful support you can give a survivor. Your role is not to ‘fix’ them even though it might be in your nature to be that way.
A survivor can become angry, irritable, depressed or anxious. Avoidance and withdrawal can also be part of the disorder. Give space and understanding. But never allow physical or emotional abuse on you to be an excuse of his trauma.
Listen when they want to talk and just as important, give them space. Don’t force them to talk, especially about the trauma. Communication here is the key. Encourage him to communicate what he needs. Simply let him know you are there for him when he needs it. It doesn’t hurt to sometimes just check in with them ask them if they want to talk. Men think that they can go it alone! But we all need a little help sometimes.
Educate yourself on the impacts child abuse can have on men so you can understand what he may be going through. Remember that you are not responsible for him or the choices he makes.
You are important and can play an integral part in the healing simply by having a positive relationship that involves mutual trust and respect.
Don’t forget that you need to care for yourself too. It can be painful to hear of the trauma he suffered or his reactions to it. Seek help if you need it. Your welfare takes priority!
Contact us if you would like to be connected with other supporters of survivors.
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