Are you a Victim or Survivor?
Victim or survivor…. It is just a state of mind. A victim can be defined by the harm that has occurred to them and a Survivor is defined by their life afterwards. You were a victim of childhood abuse and you survived it. Our aim is to now help you to thrive from it!
Whatever you choose to identify as is up to you. Understand that your mindset can set you back in being the best man you can be.
Playing the victim can stunt your growth! Emotional and mental growth that is. It maybe a coping mechanism but it is also doing you harm. Always blaming others for your life never gives you the opportunity to grow.
Don’t make excuses for your life, actions or behavior because of your childhood abuse. You have a right to feel the way you do because of what happened to you. But you need to take responsibility for your own actions and behaviors too. Your childhood abuse is not a justification for you acting like a douchebag.
Just because you are a victim, it does not void you of responsibility. Yes, shitty things happened to you and happens to everyone. Some worse than others. At some point we all fall down, it’s how we pull ourselves back up that measures a man.
Playing a victim can also be sympathy seeking, ‘Woe is me, look at my awful life’. Try some gratitude work. You might realise how good your life really is. Don’t let the trauma define who you are.
Playing the victim and sympathy seeking can also be a way of manipulating people to ‘let you off the hook’ or getting their attention.
For many people that play the victim, they have no idea that they are even doing it and it can be difficult mindset to change.
This is not to deflect the responsibility of your perpetrator, absolutely not! They are holey responsible for their actions upon you. Just as you are responsible for your own actions.
Start by acknowledging that you are playing the victim.
Own your faults and make positive change to become a better man.
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